butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Just fell off a train. Bad.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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