Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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