honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
