HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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