I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
