so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
