i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
