"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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