Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
