And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
