How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
