dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
