Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
