How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I could fuck to npr.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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