Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize