so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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