is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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