just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize