were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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