writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
