i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
