You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
