one two three fourrrrnication!
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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