C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
