It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
