last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
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