dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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