I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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