glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
