I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
