He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
