Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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