That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
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