I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
