The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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