? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
My brain says no but my pants say off.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize