I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
