College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
