...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize