Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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