waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
