Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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