Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
