the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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