I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
