friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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