i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
His nipple licking is glorious
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