it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
