If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
