did you get engaged???
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
