Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Randomize
