Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I FOUND THE LEGS
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
