I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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