Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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