My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize