Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
we have pet lesbian snakes
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
