Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
