I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
